Recognizing, acknowledging, and taking responsibility for our traumatic implicit memories and VLE confabulations helps us choose righteous behavior, even before anything feels different.
When we are able to identify the underlying traumatic memories, the moment the pieces all come together so that it feels true that our pain is really coming from the memories, all the negative thoughts and emotions we had transferred onto others drop off of them. We may still feel the negative thoughts and emotions from the trauma, but it no longer feels true that triggers in the present are causing them.
Furthermore, recognizing and acknowledging our traumatic implicit memories and surrendering our VLE confabulations opens the door to the possibility of finding and resolving the underlying traumatic memories. Until we recognize and acknowledge our traumatic implicit memories and surrender our VLE confabulations, we are not even asking the question: “Should I deal with underlying memories?”
One of the most valuable aspects of embracing responsibility for exposing and neutralizing our own stuff, is that this preemptive maturity choice side-steps the complicated hornet’s nest of others needing to convince us that we’re triggered when our thoughts and emotions are being distorted by unresolved pain from the past.
See chapter 8 for additional explanation and true story illustrations.